Frosty

Last year, the weekend before Christmas, I baked cupcakes for all of my friends at church. I decorated them very nicely, put them in nice clear bags, made them all cards and put them in goodie bags. I hauled one bag with all of the goodie bags for people at church and that was a mistake. It turned out to be one of New York's extreme weather days where it snowed a couple of feet but miraculously my family was willing to trudge through the snow to get to church and there I was, nicely rapped up and big bag in hand.
We got to church and it turned out that they had canceled the 9 AM service and that they would re-open at 11 AM. It's all good; we went to the diner less than a block away, had a nice breakfast and we killed time. In the meanwhile, I was texting "him" [even though I knew I was not allowed to text], trying to see if he was coming to church. He didn't know it was me until the 2nd or 3rd text when I said "--Zam" and he then informed me that he was not coming. While we were sitting in the diner, I was going through my received texts and I saw this one text that said "I've been thinking about you, I really miss you and I can't wait to see you again." My heart dropped I re-read the text again and felt a sudden warmth within me, even though it was toasty inside the diner and about 20 degrees outside. I got happy. I thought to myself, "Wow, he finally came to his senses and has told me the truth." I felt so happy. I then re-read the text again but my heart sank even lower.
It turned out that this text was from one of my best friends from Junior High School, not from "him". My hopes went down the drain. He never texted me back except to say merry christmas (even though that was a week away).
When we got to church most of the people to whom I wanted to give the goodies to did not show up. My mom yelled at me, telling me that I shouldn't have so many friends and "what kind of friends do you have if they can't appreciate what you did for them." Yes. My heart sunk lower, deeper. I ended up giving the cupcakes to people I didn't intend on giving them to but it didn't bother me much. This was December and me and "him" were a little less than friends but of course, I was a wishful thinker. Yet, nothing. Nothing had changed except for the fact that I now knew who was a real friend or not.
Nothing had happened until this past month. Something changed. A prayer was answered. I truth I'd been wishing for was spoken to me. Today, I sit here and wonder how much has changed. At least I still have my wishful thinking and strong heart.