BlahDeeBlogDeeblah

Howdy blogLand. Many days have passed in which I desire to post stuff up on here and i'm unable to do so due to my laptop's freak-actions...it refuses to start up right and it's fan isn't working

I've just seen myself on a youtube from an open Mic at my church last Friday...haha...my shakey voice & loss for words at the beginning. Hm...look

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVBOatncpak

and this was one of the church members named Buddy (Calvin) who rapped to one of Drake's beats....oh man, but for GOD & it was great -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLLqQAMb5VQ&feature=related

:) Good stuff! Well, working at a summer day camp has been very fun what with all the youth I've been surrounded by;and being paid for it is the best part! Some of my co-workers also happen to be awesome :D

So July 28th marked the beginning of a new journal of mine, making it my ninth in my whole life since I first started in fifth grade :) Holla! I'll be publishing them in 10 years.... ;D

I wanna Tweet pero Twitter's not working meng!

I'm almost finished with the book the Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold...wow, amazing book!!

Not you,the person next to you.

In an afternoon slump, this happens to me in the summer time where the sun is getting ready to set, the leaves of the tree in front of my window are swaying and I sit here on my bed, overly pensive of life. Moving on;

I have written so much today. I wrote in my journal for about two hours and I'm still not done in there. My goal is to finish it soon what with two blank journals standing on my desk that are waiting to be filled(thanks to my boys Shawn & Carlos (: ). So, in regards to the title of this entry...it makes me think of someone, someone I was recently close to, but many other people as well. I love how this someone...this guy...is symbolic of so many things that I would love to see change in not only him but in so many people, boys in particular. The deal with this guy, and many others, is that he tends to play hot potato with certain girls. Let's say you have a group of four girls and three guys. Before you know it the three guys have already told all four of the girls they're attracted and THEN they all switch. One guy likes one of the other girls and the cycle continues, they've swapped, traded, bartered, whatever you'd like to call that. It's upsetting and I'm glad that I've taken myself out of anything near that situation.

Did that make sense? d: Eh, make of it what you will.

Know what I also hate? The amount of EASY girls there are out there. It's a shame that girls are willing to steal other girls' boyfriends, act foolishly w/ dudes & the ridiculous extents to which they go to... just throwing that out there. T_T

On The Contrary

I know who he is when all his friends aren't around.

I know who he is when the conversation is just between me and him.

I know who he is when he's walking alone on the street.

I know who he is when he's with his family.

I know how he excels when no one is watching.

----on the contrary

He tries hard to make sure all these things get covered up and make himself seem so much tougher than he really wants to come off as.

And I know who he is. So do you, because this doesn't only happen with me;

"he" represents so many out there & if only they understood that it doesn't have to be that way.

Wishes

If only reality could be separated from what we wish. I wish I could be so many things that reality won't let me be. I wanna be with someone that the people of reality would rather have me turned away from but in another world, I wouldn't care what this person did in his past or what he's capable of....in a Land where NOW is what matters the most, he would be the one I want to be with. But my mother told me that she hates when I start to live as if the world would end tomorrow. Funny how so many songs suggest to us that we should live like we're dying, live like there's no tomorrow, tell us that we shouldn't care what anyone else says and that we should go right ahead and love who ever we want.

Why is it that when we separate ourselves from someone, it becomes harder to listen to the music that you did when you were together? Well, the answer is obvious one that you can answer beneath your breath or in your mind, but its the type of question you'd rather have no one answer. You wish there was no answer and that things go could just go back to being great. That you could just go back to being happy. That it didn't matter what consequences could occur.

I spoke to one of my best friends with whom I was actually in a relationship with once, I told him that I feel like Sadness likes to stick to me and he answered back, "I think you like to stick to Sadness". I repeated that in my mind. It was something that was impossible to put back. Let's just say I'm not sad because of the......actually, I can't set my finger on a specific reason as to why tears would be flowing at this moment. Am I ignorant for listening to the song that we had claimed to be our song right at this moment? OH HELL YES. So then why do I still have it playing, I WISH I KNEW, BUDDY. Silly thing is that I'm sure that he *most recent break-up* won't take this as hard. I shouldn't be taking this so hard neither but sadness....we're sticking to each other.

Final words: In an environment where I'm supposed to be thinking about my future and colleges and study my behind off to always get ahead, where I need to behave and make sure that everything I do is for the better of my own self, where I need to make sure I'm not hurting the ones I love the most, where I'm not supposed to abandon God........I'm feeling I want to make myself smaller. I don't want to have to worry about that. I want to let go of that. Not forever. Not for months because obviously summer isnt that long but just for a bit. This is the summer before senior year, perhaps its supposed to not be stressful......

...perhaps I'm the reason why it's so stressful.

This is where we all take a deep breath in and let it out. Shake it off. Take our minds away from such things. Wait on God. I want it to give it all back to you God. I understand why these tears have come down, I walked away from my truest love. I wanna make my way back.

I want things to be different this time. I feel the difference, now I just want to believe it is true.I want to believe that he will not disappoint me in the times that I am at my lowest and my highest. I want to know that I can carry on without having things kept hidden. I wish those three words I always long to hear did not serve and band-aids and patches to cover a bruise, rather that no bruise would be left behind and that the world would bask in the glory of how beautiful two can be. Sure two is better than one but when two become one, life shines just a little brighter upon not only the two but the people surrounding them as well. I wish to be able to lift up my hands to God whenever I desire, not when a pastor says its the right time to raise my hands unto God. I find these things to intertwine when I least would like them to. What does a hidden love have anything to do with my relationship to this so-called God? Well, God is supposed to honor the heart that is truly his and is willing to do whatever he calls for. Now my personal question to reflect on is whether I've been 100% honest and whether or not I've been deserving of such an approval from the divine. Then the question goes down the drain when I remind myself I love God and thats all that matters. That's all. Everything else is just an add on to life.

I was walking outside of my room sometime this late afternoon, the sun was past setting and I was busy with the little girls in my basement who were watching Hannah Montana. Before closing the door, I looked at my poetry book. I havent written in it in I would think about a month or more...ever since one of my guy friends and I decided to simply be friends, I just set it down, didnt really write in it again. Seems my poetic juices havent been flowing. My motivation is a bit on the low and my summer-teenager mentality has set in. There is so much I have to do and I barely got out of school; I have to
a) study for my SATs
b)Keep up with my summer job
c) Study for the trigonometry regent
d) take care of my niece who'll be here the whole summer
e) look at the colleges I want to go to
f) find some time to spend with Josh ( figure out who he is :P♥ )
g) fine some time to relax!

I've got a full schedule already...and I just want to have fun before I'm a real Senior. I really can't complain though. My summer has started off marvelously. Days at the beach, the pool, with the boo, just plain old fun and its been great. Eh. My writer/artist flow has been a bit off, hopefully it'll be back soon.

Is Cookie Monster Amazing?

Well Of course the blue huggable cookie crazed monster is the best!

Blessed by Butterflies

Sitting outside in the 'yard in the morning made me very pensive. Wait; I haven't read my Word today, please hold :) --iight, Genesis 39:20-23 & Romans 8:25; Great sources of encouragement. I put this as my last Tweet: ZAMasaurus: Rom8:25| Months ago I prayed for favor& I m here receiving b/c I hoped in what I couldnt see;Now its before me but I know God's not done ♥

Yup. I'm not sure many people would know what exactly I prayed for months ago but point is that I'm seeing what I wanted become reality and definitely not over due. So then all this thinking about being patient and waiting on God then led me to think about Love. yes. LOVE. Of course, it's my favorite topic even though some adults might argue I know nothing of it *as if they weren't my age once*

So I recalled a moment. I'll say this in a narrative of some sort so as to not give away any identities.
The girl and the guy were standing outside a place they had just eaten in with some other friends. The other friends had cleared out and surprisingly it was just the two of them left. The girl had endured turmoil inside her heart that day and stood in front of the guy. Shorter than he was, she looked up at him. She asked one word: "Forever?" and he looked at her intensely, replied "I meant it.I promise this won't change us." A hug and a walk away that might have been her last moment with him for an unknown but long time to come. That day, she decided that no matter what happened, her heart would be with him, on his side, no matter what would ever happen between the two.

And so here were are. I'm pretty sure I can keep going on but I'm not blogging short stories per say. I'm pretty hungry :)
OH MAN I watched Toy Story 3 last night and by Jove, it was AMAZING. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!! Along with the other preceding movies, Up, Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and 13 Going on 30 (lol), it's a movie I will probably never get tired of watching. ♥ Now, I'm off to watch some television, maybe grab a snack.

Frosty

Last year, the weekend before Christmas, I baked cupcakes for all of my friends at church. I decorated them very nicely, put them in nice clear bags, made them all cards and put them in goodie bags. I hauled one bag with all of the goodie bags for people at church and that was a mistake. It turned out to be one of New York's extreme weather days where it snowed a couple of feet but miraculously my family was willing to trudge through the snow to get to church and there I was, nicely rapped up and big bag in hand.
We got to church and it turned out that they had canceled the 9 AM service and that they would re-open at 11 AM. It's all good; we went to the diner less than a block away, had a nice breakfast and we killed time. In the meanwhile, I was texting "him" [even though I knew I was not allowed to text], trying to see if he was coming to church. He didn't know it was me until the 2nd or 3rd text when I said "--Zam" and he then informed me that he was not coming. While we were sitting in the diner, I was going through my received texts and I saw this one text that said "I've been thinking about you, I really miss you and I can't wait to see you again." My heart dropped I re-read the text again and felt a sudden warmth within me, even though it was toasty inside the diner and about 20 degrees outside. I got happy. I thought to myself, "Wow, he finally came to his senses and has told me the truth." I felt so happy. I then re-read the text again but my heart sank even lower.
It turned out that this text was from one of my best friends from Junior High School, not from "him". My hopes went down the drain. He never texted me back except to say merry christmas (even though that was a week away).
When we got to church most of the people to whom I wanted to give the goodies to did not show up. My mom yelled at me, telling me that I shouldn't have so many friends and "what kind of friends do you have if they can't appreciate what you did for them." Yes. My heart sunk lower, deeper. I ended up giving the cupcakes to people I didn't intend on giving them to but it didn't bother me much. This was December and me and "him" were a little less than friends but of course, I was a wishful thinker. Yet, nothing. Nothing had changed except for the fact that I now knew who was a real friend or not.
Nothing had happened until this past month. Something changed. A prayer was answered. I truth I'd been wishing for was spoken to me. Today, I sit here and wonder how much has changed. At least I still have my wishful thinking and strong heart.

Feliz Papi Day

Hope you're having a good one. Hope you wish your father a great and extra special father's day. Hope you wish your mother a great father's day if she's one of those extra special troopers who's had to make it through on her own as both parents. My mother was that extra special trooper for so many years and I still thank her to this day. Actually, after I write this, I'll go and give her thanks.

It's funny how we think that father's day is about giving dads t-shirts, nice polo shirts, cologne, especially TIES, leather shoes...maybe a pack of underwear he really needs, basic white T's, hair gel, some shavers, after shave...a TOOL BOX,a fishing rod, a gold set, a home depot gift card, some random item of clothing from the mens' dept. at Sears...you know, those generic gifts. No lies, I got mine T-shirts but they're pretty cool.

Today is supposed to be a day where Mom cooks Dad his favorite breakfast, lunch, maybe dinner as well and we crowd around the TV and watch the World Cup. I walked into my kitchen and told my mom that I'd rather be in a hole. We've done nothing today. If anything, there are more grumpy inactive people residing here than joyous and jolly beings. Regardless I'm thankful for having a father figure of any sort. I just set this as my facebook status "woah. Thank you GOD for being such a caring FATHER, loving me so unconditionally. I wish I could get you a TIE and hair gel but UPS doesn't ship to heaven. ♥". Holler. I pray the rest of my day goes well.

Oh and for the record, "guy" and I are in some strange state of quarrel I assume, I would hope not but hopefully silence will bring about a little change.

Is it or No.

Is it too early, please tell me, or is it too late.
You always leave me to just sit here and wait.
Oh how I wish that I could just get you to taste
that feeling of suspense, it isnt that great.
But who's to say that you're not just thinking really hard
and who's to day that you're not just a broken mirror and I'm bound to cut my self with one of the shards.
I hardly ask you to be straight up
Sometimes you talk to me as if you've already given up.
Unless there's something that I just dont know
there's some sort of left behind emotion that you just won't show
So we can't grow
We cannot continue on this way
If it me who you're holding back from we can't try another day
We cannot find a way until you find your way.
Until you can finally say that you're ready.
Then we can both be satisfied.
We'll be able to be happy that at least we tried and at least
we tried to find a way to make repairs inside
but alright, the night is getting long and the morning soon with come.
I'll just keep writing on, give my love, and I'll save you some.
( 1 AM)

How to give 100% When All You're Getting Is Zero

Well, that would be a great conversation starter but it's too bad that I don't even know how to answer that question. I find myself in that position more than enough times. I wish there was a way to tell the other person, "I want more SO GIVE ME MORE." without sounding rude or demanding. But we can't leave our needs and wants left untended, we can only do so for so long. You also can't make someone else feel a certain way...you also can't lower your own standard...don't go looking for gold in muck, you'll just get stuck and left there to sit in you're own untimely and unneeded desire.
^^ Did that make sense to you? I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't, it didn't very much to me.

Anyways. My day; it was alright. I took my U.S. History Regent, I went home, went back to school to get my senior picture taken, then back home. I played my guitar for a bit, baked cookies and then went to church. I had a decent time there but my heart was left a little tipped to the side. I would say it's because someone gave a it a little nudge but left it like that, didn't bother put it back in place. But they don't know they did that, they're oblivious to emotion sometimes, so it seems. I left church, went to the supermarket and bought chocolate and marshmallows. I got home, sat with my family, then I went to my room to make an important phone call. The phone call turned out to be nothing. I might as well have called this person and said, "Hey, I'm going to be a clown for the rest of my life and walk on a tight rope for a living" and they would have said, "Well alright then." So yes, that left me quite annoyed. I went back to the yard, had one smore and said it was enough. I had a good time with the parentals and the sister and her bf. Now I'm in my room. Woo.

I sound way more "down" than I should be. Damn. Hope I'm not PMS-ing, now THAT would suck! Haha? Yeah, I don't know. Until next time.

I just wanna say

God is GREAT

I promise I don't have a jealousy problem...

Surely I don't. Okay. Maybe I do. I feel that at the age of 16 I wish to discover more about life than your average teenager. So many teenagers are out there texting, hanging out with their boyfriends/girlfriends, babysitting, doing homework, etc...but I sit here and ponder upon the depths of what my heart really desires to tell me. (Yes, I said ponder and depths, good English doesn't hurt every now and then people.) I spend my time on the buses and trains wondering whether I should
a)study for any sort of upcoming test
b)sleep/nap/that thing when you close your eyes and recharge yourself for a good hour
c)listen to my music and stare blankly around
d)think about whatever life situation I might be facing.

I suppose all people go through this kind of thing...or maybe not. The "maybe not" is reflected in the stupidities I hear people blurt out in my physics class. It shows in the foolishness I see and hear on the streets of even my "very nice and respectful" neighborhood. So "what's up" with the jealousy? Let's see. I see photographs of someone and let's just say every time I see them a bit of me tears. I get emotional for a minute but my attention then gets directed to something else...unless I think about it for a while. I set this as my AIM status moments after having seen a photo: "when i look at her i see the old me. when i look at myself I wonder what he ever saw in her. when i look at him i wish he would see past her and look at how it's always been me. there without reason, idle and sullen." My final thought, that which is in my mind RIGHT NOW is that I can't be stuck in the past, rather I should move on and make the most of life.Check it-->
It is so true. I find the difference that separates me from every other billionth person is that even though I do mess up, I refuse to let life treat me the exact same way it treats everyone.I'm not like every girl who puts the "live.laugh.love." front because I actually do it. So when I'm grumpy know that I was probably too lazy to change the world and decided to wait on the world to change.

One last thing: Follow your heart. If you always do what is defined as RIGHT by everyone else you might miss out on something you will always regret.So even if a risk is at bay, take it; Leap over that safety bump, cuts will heal. Tell that boy or girl you love her, hearts will recover after the truth is told. Take the chance in exposing your feelings, life will continue and will only bring forth better.

I can't do this.

this english research paper is turning my brain to mush, I cannot do it. I dont care that it'll be late but I need SLEEP.

just a quick post. I read that " a goal without a plan is just a wish". I'm just a bit confused when it comes to certain someones. One person calls to say goodnight. The other claims a love unSHOWN and gives a dry goodbye. What to make of this? Oh, nothing. I;ll just focus on school and whatnot...right....*sigh*
G'Night.

"Interested"

..."but there are a few people that I'm 'interested' in." ---"haha, 'innnnnterested' , you're funny...so who are you quote unquote interested in?"---"I've got a list. lemme tell you..."

Oh late night conversations, surely a part of on adolescent/teenager living in a time of cellphones, unlimited mobile to mobile minutes, and the greatness of non-perishable rollover minutes. the generation before me, well the people born in the early 80s or late 80s I guess sure don't know exactly what I mean, I think because in their times of when they liked someone, they wouldn't be able to use their house phone to talk to that person he or she liked. I mean, if they did use their house phone, they definitely ran the risk of having their parents listen in to their conversation on the other side of the line. But not with cellphones! With the cellular device we are able to talk as freely as we would like! Unless you have my parents who look at the number of minutes that I've used for the cellphone bill term which in that case, you're "type screwed".

So I will only be 16 for another 6 days. Interesting, huh? When I'm 17, I'll be a year away from being considered a legal adult. Now that's a strange thought for me.
On a more sunny note...
I seriously cannot wait for Toy Story 3~ The first movie came out in 1995, God...I was only two years old at that time. To think I'll be 17. JEEZ!! I'm getting old! Haha, not too old yet because I don't consider 5O old. B)

Going back to that quote at the beginning...it refers to a certain someone who likes to call me a loser. We have fights. He calls me adorable. I call him mean. He calls me a loser.I tell him I'm a winner. He laughs. Says he can't believe. Then I think to myself, "it's time to return to reality." I then realize this is the real thing. Just, it all seems like a teenage mirage. Something I shouldn't even reach for for I know it really isn't there. Or what do I know? Not much at the moment. And at the moment, I don't need to worry about that. PSH! BOYS. PSHHH. Who needs them.
Girls do, that's who :P But they're really the least of my worries and I know not just any boy who tries to flatter me will certainly reach my heart. For the time being, I love our friendship.

I should SO be asleep. Goodnight.


--Photo Credit to my third leg in the tripod gang Emily Huang.♥ (check out her blog @ kisstheskies.tumblr.com )

Riposte Means a Return...

When I started writing on here again after december 'O9, I had a friend in mind. Not a really good friend but...an acquaintance that I've gotten to know a little more about in the past year & a 1/2. He was feeling a lot of feelings...a feeling overload. So I figured that I would write here in hopes that he might see what I say since it doesnt make that much of a difference.
Anyways, here are the definitions of Riposte:

1 : a fencer's quick return thrust following a parry
2 : a retaliatory verbal sally : retort
3 : a retaliatory maneuver or measure
So there you go :T

All is well, it's Sunday and I'm debating whether if I should go to church today or not. If I don't I'll be cleaning my room (for sure this time ) and I'll then immerse myself into my bible. Either way, it has to be a good day :)

SAT; Let's GO!

UHHHHH SATs are tomorrow!!
I should be looking over my study books...
so I'll make today's post kind of short and simple, for YOU the lone stranger who actually reads this :)
--Today was a great day at school, my math teacher gets a little more confident in me each day, a LITTLE...my AP Human Geography teacher told us stories for a whole period in which I fell asleep in the last 10 minutes, apologized and he said he didn't care (woo!)...my English teacher was out and we had a super nice SUB & I tried to sleep in there as well :D...Physics class was the same as it usually was, I fell asleep but seldom and briefly...gym was gym, we jogged in Fort Greene park, it was a nice day for a plain old walk...chorus was great, we're trying to nail down major, minor, melodic+ harmonic minor scales and my teacher was in a great mood...spanish was alright, she's the only teacher really trying to make us work hard...U.S. history was good, we reviewed for a final next week...and sociology was the same, I fell asleep here and there. I got home and I slept for a good amount of time, showered and here I am :)

Good luck to anyone taking the SAT tomorrow morning<3

What do you say...

How about tonight,
you and me,
we go find some grass
& just lay.
Simply lay and of course
we won't forget the bug spray. We can just lay.
We can talk about the future
& just forget about today.
We can talk about our problems
how sometimes things just don't go our way.
I want to just lay
I want to forget confusion and forget the disarray.
I want to find a playground so that you and me can play.
We can find a beautiful night harbor
or just hang out by the bay.
So, what do you say?
How about you stay here forever...just stay.
We can watch the stars twinkle and the grass sway.
How about we start now, don't delay
We'll carry on forever without worries of clichés.
So what do you say?


--------I'm caught in a wave of thought.
*I got a new coffee maker! :D *

Serene & IN between~

The sun is still high in the sky but it's definitely getting ready to set.

I looked at the last post briefly, read I said something about coffee and then I remembered: I CANT MAKE COFFEE AT HOME ANYMORE!! the coffee pot cracked so it'll be a while until we get a new one. *Sigh* Oh well...I'm sure one won't just fall out of the sky...that one will break too!!

I met with my college advisor today and left on a good note. The schools I should check out are pretty good! And NYU was on the list ♥ *My dream school!* When she looked at my major-interests, she saw Christian Studies and said, "So you have a Christian background?" and I replied, "Mhm!" and she sort of reluctantly said, "Are you very Christian? Like, you go to church.." and I smiled. "Yes." That made me laugh..."very Christian". Goes to show the views people have about it. All this talk about college and SATs makes me feel..OLD. :/ I'm growing up people...I'm growing up.

Nation of Procrastination

YES.
I just stopped writing my sociology paper that's due technically today to write on this blog. Why? Because I must share with you that PROCRASTINATING IS BAD AND UNHEALTHY.

Oy vey :( I will need a lot of coffee when I wake up!

But I can say that I'm happy. I realized that God is great. I mean, I always knew so, I'm just letting you know that i remembered that God is great because I was feeling very under the weather for the most part this weekend, which is why I didn't finish this essay for sociology earlier. I literally have one paragraph to go but again...here I am, blogging.

I really hope I don't get carpal tunnel syndrome like my pops. Except he didn't get it from typing. ALRIGHT! off to paper land so I can go Mimis like us hispanics say ;)<3

OH & by the way? I'm not in love. Nor i like. I'm in the process. :P

Looking back on where we first met...

"I can not escape and I can not forget, baby you're the one, you can do no wrong, you can make me whole again."

This song is called Whole Again originally by Atomic Kitten but redone by Play. This used to be my anthem song in my elementary school days...goes to show how the concept of falling in love has been implanted in me since I was a younger kid. I believe that all women go through their "I'M IN LOVEEEE!!!!" stage but I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse to have myself experience that feeling so constantly. I guess it all corresponds to who the feeling is felt towards.

That's enough talk of love for the morning. I have a sociology research paper due Monday and I certainly should be working on it. Something that's worth mentioning: Don't ever give up. Don't ever forget that you have an enemy out there trying to attack you're emotions and get you at your weakest moments in life...don't give up.

One of my friends has my poetry book at the moment and I think I want it back around now :) My mind is bubbling with inspiration and looseleaf won't do right now. One last word: MUSIC. It's a collaboration of all sorts of notes and chords, flats and sharps , that make every day a little better. Thank God.

Teenage Irony

What happens when the person who you spent four months crying over suddenly tells you they've loved you all along. This person has failed to communicate these words directly across but hints it in every other aspect. This person reminds you that he/she is just as confused as you are.
What happens?

Enough is Enough

My desire to blog is back. I figured that I might get too personal here or it'll become my substitute diary but hey, this could be step one for Censorship. ACTUALLY the main reason I'm back is that I've been reading the blog of one of my friends lately and it sort of bugs me to see how much emotion they are going though and I guess I write this in hopes that this person might one day look over and see that I've been the incognito friend all along.

Oddly enough I probably should be cramming for my last AP test that's on Friday but...*oh well*
Strangely enough the person that I aim this towards is the person I seem to have never reached out to. Let's go one step forward: this so-called "friend" is a guy who one could describe as more of an acquaintance. And he's pretty much facing what I went through...the last and first time I had posted up something here! :P Well anyways, part of me says that I should try to dig deeper into his emotion since I can very well relate to him. The other part of me says to stay out of it because analyzing a boy's emotions might be just as complex as the time I had to dissect that gross frog in my Freshman Bio class...

Aside from relating to him, I have so many suggestions for him but once again the fact the me and him aren't cool in that sense kind of intimidates me. I would also definitely suggest a good friend of mine named Jesus. Sure it'd seem like the "typical Chrisitian" thing to do, you know, "Hi, I know you're feeling pretty low right now and all you need is Jesus!! *insert cheesy smile here*". Honestly he could really use some Jesus with all that emptiness he's feeling. But as "they" say, I'm just sayin'. Such a fine young man too and yet he's beating himself up over what might be the most common experience amongst teenagers : The Breakup. [>.<]

Now, to my precious sleep and awakening to the day-before-my-AP-exam.