I promise I don't have a jealousy problem...

Surely I don't. Okay. Maybe I do. I feel that at the age of 16 I wish to discover more about life than your average teenager. So many teenagers are out there texting, hanging out with their boyfriends/girlfriends, babysitting, doing homework, etc...but I sit here and ponder upon the depths of what my heart really desires to tell me. (Yes, I said ponder and depths, good English doesn't hurt every now and then people.) I spend my time on the buses and trains wondering whether I should
a)study for any sort of upcoming test
b)sleep/nap/that thing when you close your eyes and recharge yourself for a good hour
c)listen to my music and stare blankly around
d)think about whatever life situation I might be facing.

I suppose all people go through this kind of thing...or maybe not. The "maybe not" is reflected in the stupidities I hear people blurt out in my physics class. It shows in the foolishness I see and hear on the streets of even my "very nice and respectful" neighborhood. So "what's up" with the jealousy? Let's see. I see photographs of someone and let's just say every time I see them a bit of me tears. I get emotional for a minute but my attention then gets directed to something else...unless I think about it for a while. I set this as my AIM status moments after having seen a photo: "when i look at her i see the old me. when i look at myself I wonder what he ever saw in her. when i look at him i wish he would see past her and look at how it's always been me. there without reason, idle and sullen." My final thought, that which is in my mind RIGHT NOW is that I can't be stuck in the past, rather I should move on and make the most of life.Check it-->
It is so true. I find the difference that separates me from every other billionth person is that even though I do mess up, I refuse to let life treat me the exact same way it treats everyone.I'm not like every girl who puts the "live.laugh.love." front because I actually do it. So when I'm grumpy know that I was probably too lazy to change the world and decided to wait on the world to change.

One last thing: Follow your heart. If you always do what is defined as RIGHT by everyone else you might miss out on something you will always regret.So even if a risk is at bay, take it; Leap over that safety bump, cuts will heal. Tell that boy or girl you love her, hearts will recover after the truth is told. Take the chance in exposing your feelings, life will continue and will only bring forth better.