I just wanna say

God is GREAT

I promise I don't have a jealousy problem...

Surely I don't. Okay. Maybe I do. I feel that at the age of 16 I wish to discover more about life than your average teenager. So many teenagers are out there texting, hanging out with their boyfriends/girlfriends, babysitting, doing homework, etc...but I sit here and ponder upon the depths of what my heart really desires to tell me. (Yes, I said ponder and depths, good English doesn't hurt every now and then people.) I spend my time on the buses and trains wondering whether I should
a)study for any sort of upcoming test
b)sleep/nap/that thing when you close your eyes and recharge yourself for a good hour
c)listen to my music and stare blankly around
d)think about whatever life situation I might be facing.

I suppose all people go through this kind of thing...or maybe not. The "maybe not" is reflected in the stupidities I hear people blurt out in my physics class. It shows in the foolishness I see and hear on the streets of even my "very nice and respectful" neighborhood. So "what's up" with the jealousy? Let's see. I see photographs of someone and let's just say every time I see them a bit of me tears. I get emotional for a minute but my attention then gets directed to something else...unless I think about it for a while. I set this as my AIM status moments after having seen a photo: "when i look at her i see the old me. when i look at myself I wonder what he ever saw in her. when i look at him i wish he would see past her and look at how it's always been me. there without reason, idle and sullen." My final thought, that which is in my mind RIGHT NOW is that I can't be stuck in the past, rather I should move on and make the most of life.Check it-->
It is so true. I find the difference that separates me from every other billionth person is that even though I do mess up, I refuse to let life treat me the exact same way it treats everyone.I'm not like every girl who puts the "live.laugh.love." front because I actually do it. So when I'm grumpy know that I was probably too lazy to change the world and decided to wait on the world to change.

One last thing: Follow your heart. If you always do what is defined as RIGHT by everyone else you might miss out on something you will always regret.So even if a risk is at bay, take it; Leap over that safety bump, cuts will heal. Tell that boy or girl you love her, hearts will recover after the truth is told. Take the chance in exposing your feelings, life will continue and will only bring forth better.

I can't do this.

this english research paper is turning my brain to mush, I cannot do it. I dont care that it'll be late but I need SLEEP.

just a quick post. I read that " a goal without a plan is just a wish". I'm just a bit confused when it comes to certain someones. One person calls to say goodnight. The other claims a love unSHOWN and gives a dry goodbye. What to make of this? Oh, nothing. I;ll just focus on school and whatnot...right....*sigh*
G'Night.

"Interested"

..."but there are a few people that I'm 'interested' in." ---"haha, 'innnnnterested' , you're funny...so who are you quote unquote interested in?"---"I've got a list. lemme tell you..."

Oh late night conversations, surely a part of on adolescent/teenager living in a time of cellphones, unlimited mobile to mobile minutes, and the greatness of non-perishable rollover minutes. the generation before me, well the people born in the early 80s or late 80s I guess sure don't know exactly what I mean, I think because in their times of when they liked someone, they wouldn't be able to use their house phone to talk to that person he or she liked. I mean, if they did use their house phone, they definitely ran the risk of having their parents listen in to their conversation on the other side of the line. But not with cellphones! With the cellular device we are able to talk as freely as we would like! Unless you have my parents who look at the number of minutes that I've used for the cellphone bill term which in that case, you're "type screwed".

So I will only be 16 for another 6 days. Interesting, huh? When I'm 17, I'll be a year away from being considered a legal adult. Now that's a strange thought for me.
On a more sunny note...
I seriously cannot wait for Toy Story 3~ The first movie came out in 1995, God...I was only two years old at that time. To think I'll be 17. JEEZ!! I'm getting old! Haha, not too old yet because I don't consider 5O old. B)

Going back to that quote at the beginning...it refers to a certain someone who likes to call me a loser. We have fights. He calls me adorable. I call him mean. He calls me a loser.I tell him I'm a winner. He laughs. Says he can't believe. Then I think to myself, "it's time to return to reality." I then realize this is the real thing. Just, it all seems like a teenage mirage. Something I shouldn't even reach for for I know it really isn't there. Or what do I know? Not much at the moment. And at the moment, I don't need to worry about that. PSH! BOYS. PSHHH. Who needs them.
Girls do, that's who :P But they're really the least of my worries and I know not just any boy who tries to flatter me will certainly reach my heart. For the time being, I love our friendship.

I should SO be asleep. Goodnight.


--Photo Credit to my third leg in the tripod gang Emily Huang.♥ (check out her blog @ kisstheskies.tumblr.com )

Riposte Means a Return...

When I started writing on here again after december 'O9, I had a friend in mind. Not a really good friend but...an acquaintance that I've gotten to know a little more about in the past year & a 1/2. He was feeling a lot of feelings...a feeling overload. So I figured that I would write here in hopes that he might see what I say since it doesnt make that much of a difference.
Anyways, here are the definitions of Riposte:

1 : a fencer's quick return thrust following a parry
2 : a retaliatory verbal sally : retort
3 : a retaliatory maneuver or measure
So there you go :T

All is well, it's Sunday and I'm debating whether if I should go to church today or not. If I don't I'll be cleaning my room (for sure this time ) and I'll then immerse myself into my bible. Either way, it has to be a good day :)

SAT; Let's GO!

UHHHHH SATs are tomorrow!!
I should be looking over my study books...
so I'll make today's post kind of short and simple, for YOU the lone stranger who actually reads this :)
--Today was a great day at school, my math teacher gets a little more confident in me each day, a LITTLE...my AP Human Geography teacher told us stories for a whole period in which I fell asleep in the last 10 minutes, apologized and he said he didn't care (woo!)...my English teacher was out and we had a super nice SUB & I tried to sleep in there as well :D...Physics class was the same as it usually was, I fell asleep but seldom and briefly...gym was gym, we jogged in Fort Greene park, it was a nice day for a plain old walk...chorus was great, we're trying to nail down major, minor, melodic+ harmonic minor scales and my teacher was in a great mood...spanish was alright, she's the only teacher really trying to make us work hard...U.S. history was good, we reviewed for a final next week...and sociology was the same, I fell asleep here and there. I got home and I slept for a good amount of time, showered and here I am :)

Good luck to anyone taking the SAT tomorrow morning<3

What do you say...

How about tonight,
you and me,
we go find some grass
& just lay.
Simply lay and of course
we won't forget the bug spray. We can just lay.
We can talk about the future
& just forget about today.
We can talk about our problems
how sometimes things just don't go our way.
I want to just lay
I want to forget confusion and forget the disarray.
I want to find a playground so that you and me can play.
We can find a beautiful night harbor
or just hang out by the bay.
So, what do you say?
How about you stay here forever...just stay.
We can watch the stars twinkle and the grass sway.
How about we start now, don't delay
We'll carry on forever without worries of clichés.
So what do you say?


--------I'm caught in a wave of thought.
*I got a new coffee maker! :D *